Episode 5: Insomnia, are you freaking kidding me?

How in the world can someone that is pretty much tired all the time have insomnia? Welcome to the absolute psychotic world that is my life. You fight sleep all day and when you finally get to go to the place your body has yearned for, the absolute utopia you have trudged through this day filled with sleep attacks that have drained you like a teenagers cellphone battery, you lay down and bam, you can't sleep. Your laying there, beyond tired, I mean like stay awake for two days and drink a bottle of NyQuil, beyond tired and you can't fall a sleep. It is a vicious cycle of excessive tiredness and can't switch your brain off, then when you finally fall a sleep you wake up every couple of hours and the cycle begins again. It is beyond me how and why my body plays this sick joke on me. You would think that after dragging myself through a day of complete and utter agony pushing myself past the bounds of complete exhaustion, my body would shut down before I hit the pillow. Most people sit in bed on the computer or phone, catching up on the days general events. Not me I turn my phone on vibrate. Shut off all lights, LEDs, anything that has a glow. My room is pitch black, and I lay there with everything off except my brain. That daft thing in my head starts running through the last 29 years of my life. Things that have nothing to do with anything pertinent in my life to date. It literally makes me want to have a primal scream fit of rage and crack myself in the head with a roofing hammer. I get so tired mentally that I tell my doctor about it and guess what they have a medicine for insomnia. Well not just insomnia but insomnia and rem sleep problems which is why narcoleptics are so tired, even when they sleep "normally". My body goes to dream mode pretty quickly, 5-7 minutes. That's like charging your phone till the red light stops blinking then getting right back on it. Most people don't go into rem/dream sleep for sometime after they fall a sleep, like hours after. So to help me not dream so quickly and also to fall a sleep faster there is a drug. But not any ole drug this stuff make NyQuil look like koolaide. Its a syrup that you dilute and it taste like seawater, but it puts you down like giving benadryl to a baby. So for 2 to 6 hours you don't dream you don't wake up, your out cold. This seems healthy right? This is just a long line in the stuff I have to take to be a functioning human being for 4 hours of the day. Oh the madness, but the best thing ever has happened to me and its because of narcolepsy. I now have the opportunity and more ambition to spend with my kids. I only have those limited hours of not being a zombie to really focus toward my children's upbringing and well being. My challenge to you is to really think about what is the most important things in your life and make time to spend on them. All the wealth and fame in the world will fade  but love and charity go along way.