Episode 4: Can't trust your eyes (completed)

So the awesomeness that is narcolepsy does things to your mind that the best drugs around wish they could do. The dreams that I have are so vivid and real that it seems like reality, that is part of the problem. The other part is that when you are awake you have hallucinations, ain't that great too. So lets recap this, when I'm a sleep I feel awake and when I'm awake I hallucinate like I'm a sleep. It is so enjoyable to never really know if what you have experienced was real or a dream. Do you know how quick this can make someone crack up? I was so messed up before I knew I had narcolepsy, I was on the verge of taking myself to a mental hospital and being committed. I told you I was my own special version of crazy. With all this going on it's bad enough by itself then you add the falling, the excessive tiredness, my body constantly aching, and brain fog. I was pretty tore up. I don't know about you but when I'm in a rough spot I turn to my family for support. Looking back at the situation and seeing how they huddled around me and kept me from going over the edge, I'm so thankful, the only thing I can think of that I would do different is, I probably would not have divulged so much information about my condition to my family. As you probably notice my family likes to pick and play around, call names, and generally mess with each other. We all seem to have this sadistic side that thinks pain and violence co insides with humor, as long as its not done to be mean or harmful. Having said this you can only imagine how I was messed with when they found out I hallucinated and thought my dreams were real life. Overtime I would remind my wife of something she said, she  would say "babe are you sure I think your narcolepsy is acting up." It was a never ending joke, if you didn't like what you told me just  change it, what could I do. I thought I was bat  crap crazy anyways, why not mess with me, I  know I sure would have, if this had been one of  them. Well eventually I started keeping a  notebook so that I could catch them in a lie and  that ended that reign of terror. With that nipped in the bud, I still had to deal with the hallucinations. The worst ones were always the same and freaked me out at first, but you know my saying "laugh it in to submission". The first ones I really noticed happened at night and always appeared in the same places, in my  bedroom of all places. I know right, my cave of solitude, my haven of softness, how dare they. Well they dared, I would see a little boy and a little girl sitting across the room from one another dressed in old fashion Sunday best attire. Now some of you believe in ghost , me on the other hand I believe in Jesus. Not that  you can't believe in both, but that's not for me  to decide. Back to my new little friends, they  didn't move, speak, nothing, it was almost like  looking at a 3d   pictures, one on one wall the other on the opposite wall. How can you fix this with laughter, I mean they come at night, they are in my room, it is dark, and they look like the should be in some horror movie to warn you about something ominous in your house. I did what came natural and decided to name them. Cletus and Lupita, my little friends, why those names?  Well its funny to me when they appear to say "oh my goodness Cletus and Lupita you scared the crap out of me." How scary can it be with names like that. With that mess dealt with I started thinking of how to combat my craziness of the man on the porch. At the house I was staying at there was a long porch that ran three quarters of the lenght of the house. My favorite chair sat opposite the window that looked out onto the porch. While I would read or watch TV I'd see the man's figure walk up and down that covered porch. Here again people are going to reference ghost, my wife believes in ghost and from earlier post you can see she's not the best judge of natural stuff much less the supernatural. So I had to do some thinking on who and how could I keep this hallucination from winning the battle for my sanity. I mean the odds are already  stacked against me, with my family pulling hard  on the "one more and we get a floor at the nut house to our self." So first I needed the who, the wife drew the short straw but I decided otherwise, and why not that double scoop of padded room material was on edge already from the kids. Adding this to that rocket's fuse would be all it would take to send it just high enough to explode its psycho neurotic rage all over me, no thanks. Then I came to the  teenager, he's young and has to do what I say,  why not pay him back for the times when if it were not for child abuse laws and Zoloft he would not have survived. You might think I am exaggerating, I'll let you be the judge. The teenager, lets call him "Huh" for the time being. Huh as I said before in other post likes to make noise, and not good noise if there is such a thing, but annoying, drawn out, horrid noise that make you want to shove pencils in your eardrums. Then there is the bodily noises, not only are they loud and smell like burnt hair plus burnt plastic put inside a dead skunk set on fire and put out with chitilen(pig intestin cooking) water, they are frequent. Huh has more gas than the middle east, and its not like he excuses himself to do this, no he does it right near you, long and drawn out, sometimes it sounds as if he is changes gears midway through. Another fun fact about Huh is this brain mouth filter thing or the lack there of in his case. I stopped letting him use the phrase "stupid question" before his random out burst that involves a question but the question is not about any conversation anyone there has had that day. You see how Huh adds to my insanity and that's just the tip of the iceberg that is Huh. Well to make me feel better and to get Huh out of his own little world, plus he was grounded and sat under me like an extra hemorrhoid just being a pain in my rear. Every time I saw the man on the porch walk by, I'd tell Huh to go tell him to get off the   porch and laugh my butt off when Huh would   walk to the door open it and tell the invisible   man to get off our porch like he was really   there. See there are solutions to every trail you   face some are hard some are easy, but only you    can find a way through. Try to at the very least   to grin and bare it, and if you can laugh and   share it. You might give someone else that little   push to help them on there way.                    #narcolepsy #cataplexy #sleep